Rabbi Burns was born in Scotland, and still retains British nationality, a Scottish accent, and a penchant for kosher haggis, single malt whiskies, heather, and the kilt. He spends part of his time in the Orkney Isles, in London, on the Isle of Wight and in Jerusalem over-seeing his shop, Cheeses of Nazareth. His favourite snacks are Baby Bel - or, as he calls them, Little Baby Cheeses. He has been known to eat a dozen for breakfast.
Hello and welcome to my cheese page.
The purpose of my page is to unite everyone through the love of cheeses.
May our mutual love of pongy congealed milk bring peace to the world! Shalom! - Rabbi Burns
Any cheese encomia or recommendations? E-mail:Rabbi Burns
(left) Some cheese, yesterday
There's a whole world of cheeses out there just waiting to be tasted.
Here are some recommendations by friends and celebrities:
Your cheese page overwhelms me with joy. What a noble gesture, unity in cheese! I have been bathing in the stuff ever since, and my skin now diffuses a milky phosphorescence much admired among cognoscenti. Fromage is definitely this season's colour - wear it with or without those little blue veins. I'm just reading Thomas Harris's "Hannibal" and am reminded of his reference to the particularly grand Florentine delicatessen, replete with rich cheeses and fresh truffles, which according to the locals "smells like God's feet".
Gail-Nina, art historian and vampirologist
Old Amsterdam Edam. Sometimes you get the really strong stuff, which takes the roof off your mouth.
Derren Brown, mentalist
Brie!
Alison, psychiatric nurse
Jewish and Turkish shops in my bit of north London sell tubs of pimentoes, olives and feta cheese floating about in far too much oil. What you do is crumble up Danish Blue into it and leave overnight. The oils sink into the cheese somewhat and you can mash it all up to use as a spread. I've always found Danish Blue a wee bit metallic, but this seems to dissipate into the oils and generally everything is improved by the procedure.
Ken Campbell, comedian
It is our expression that there are no positive differences: that all things are like a mouse and a bug in the heart of a cheese. Mouse and a bug: no two things could seem more unlike. They're there a week, or they stay there a month: both are then only transmutations of cheese. I think we're all bugs and mice, and are only different expressions of an all-inclusive cheese.
Charles Fort, philosopher
Good fresh panir.
Max Brennan, musician
I'm afraid that someone secreted some half-eaten
Haloumi cheese in a fridge compartment which is
explicitly reserved for jars and/or solid food containers.
A two-week search for the offensive stench emanating
from said fridge resulted in this unorthodox discovery.
We have, as yet, been unable to establish just who the
hell put it there. PS Although the smell was repellent, I have to say that the cheese's consistency was most appealing in its
unctuousness
Jon Nutter, dilettante.
I am partial to an excellent traditional cheddar. I'm not talking about supermarket shrinkwrapped muck that looks (and tastes) like yellow perspex. I speak of THE REAL THING, wrapped in cheese cloth and bought in a cardboard box with air holes in. The richness, the colour, the aroma, (I salivate), incomparable! Eaten with a small wedge of moist fruit cake and a glass of dark real ale, it's certain to send you to fromagian nirvana.
David Evans - Weaselmonger.
As far as I'm concerned, you haven't tasted cheese till you've had the hardstuff - one year old matured Gouda from Holland. It's as tough as old boots, impossible to slice, I can't find it anywhere in London but I can't go anywhere in Amsterdam without a hunk of it in my bag which I surreptitiously nibble any and everywhere I have a beer.
Count Carlos Kruger,
Spanish nobleman (in exile).
(left) Some more cheese, yesterday
My favourite is Vignotte - creamy, tangy, with full deep flavour. I also like Haloumi, which is good stir-fried in chunks.
James, estate agent provocateur
Dairylea - all squidgy! I like unwrapping them and nibbling them - or spreading on crackers.
Caitlin, schoolgirl
Port Salut's my favourite, but it's quite expensive. I also like Austrian smoked cheese that comes in a big sausage - but not the rind which is really chewy and tough. I like Edam in my sandwiches, with mediterranean olive sauce - really lovely in a soft roll all squashed together. Also sock cheese - very useful for discouraging sisters from my bedroom!
Laurence, schoolboy
In terms of cheeses I like: Old Amsterdam, Parmesan, Perail, Roquefort, fresh goat cheese. I found this site: www.frencheese.co.uk Stephen, accountant
Surely there should be some mention here of Stilton,
the King of all Cheeses? Splendid all by itself, but
also lovely toasted upon a layer of mango chutney.
Dave says it has to be from Long Clawson.
Heather and Dave, more psychiatric nurses
I have to admit a weakness for roquefort - although that's caused by an allergy and usually passes a few hours after eating it. I'm ok provided I don't drive, operate machinery or perform knee surgery. I am also partial to a hot cheese drink made from horlicks and instant cheese sauce. Roquefort review to follow as soon as I've found a substitute word for 'blasphemous' and 'tawdry'. The Roquefort Files.
Geoff, musician
For me there can be only one clear cheese of choice. But my fromage of fancy is more than just mere milk turned bad. One could describe my selection as a part of the international language, in the same league as Coca Cola or Big Mac, but to do so would be to rob this nectar of the masses of its true value. The cheese of which I speak is none other than The Laughing Cow or La Vache Qui Rit. Words cannot accurately describe the emotions one experiences when a fresh circular vestibule of this king of cheeses is opened, and first segment plucked from its seven brothers and shelled of its chrome-like wrapping... To say that its texture is nothing short of erotic and that its taste is like creamy ecstasy would be only scratching the surface of the pleasure found deeper within. But why is our bovine friend so jocular? You'll just have to try her cheese to find out......
Morgan, traveller
(left) Yet more cheese, yesterday
James has already pinched my favourite, Vignotte, but I can also recommend Morbier, which has a line of charcoal through the middle. Mahon, a Spanish cheese, is also a delight...strong and quite dry; almost like Parmesan but a bit fruitier! Also, round our way we have a lovely cheese called Cantal which is the closest thing we can get to Cheddar in the South of France. It comes in three guises..."jeune" (mild), "entre-deux" (yummy) and an extra mature version which is very hard but I can't remember its technical name. I'll
have a look next time I go to the market!
Maeve, friend
Hi. Pecorino Sardo (from Sardinia) is fab.
Anne Saar
Oh where to start? How could I possibly choose just one cheese? It all depends on the occasion. At Christmas it's breaded, deep-fried Camembert parcels with cranberry sauce, for breakfast it has to be grilled Halloumi with salad in a ciabatta roll, for a snack it's Boursin Poivre (which you can't get in many places and I demand to know why!). Oh, the list is endless. How many times have I opened a pack of Buffalo Mozzarella with the intention of preparing a mini banquet atop a freshly sliced focaccia, only to wolf the lot down in one go? I like a nice Buffalo Ball.
Paula, photographer
Any cheese recommendations? E-mail:Rabbi Burns
Text © 2004 James Nye & Rabbi Burns
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Since 23rd May, 2004